Get Adobe Flash player Dear Chelle - LivingPLush.com - Michelle T. Heatley - Relationships - Advice - Living PLush Banner

Why do men cheat??? Age old question, right?

Society excuses the actions of men. We accept that men are “DOGS” and cannot control themselves.

EDITORIAL - That is a crock… lol and a ridiculous allowance that has left us with communities of broken homes and children who never know their parents.

OK - Off of the pulpit.

Chemistry.com

We never analyze why women decide to step outside of their relationships. It must be emotional because women are way too sensitive for it to be any other reason… right?

Chelsie Kaplan of MSN conducted a survey and ask REAL women why they cheat.

Reason #1: There’s no passion

“I had been with John for about three years—he was a really nice guy, and I enjoyed being with him, but there wasn’t a ton of passion. Most everyone we knew had gotten engaged, and though John would have proposed in a second, whenever he brought it up, I’d change the subject. I took a trip to Australia for work, and while I was gone, I got together with a co-worker to whom I’d always been insanely attracted. I had a fantastic trip, probably because for the first time in a long time I experienced that excitement I’d been missing. I broke up with John soon after I returned home, and began dating the guy from the trip. Even though I’m not super-proud of my actions, things ended up for the best: After dating for a few years, the guy from the trip and I got married, and we’re incredibly happy together.”
– Giselle, 30, Montvale, NJ

Reason #2: To delay a breakup
“Right before I was going to break up with my ex, Sean, he found out that he had to put his beloved dog to sleep. He was so broken up about it that I didn’t have the heart to end things, so I waited a month or so until he was in better shape. When things seemed to be better and I was ready, he lost his job, so I felt like I was back to square one! By that time, I had met someone else that I really wanted to start seeing, so I went ahead and did it. I eventually ended things, never telling Sean about my extra-curricular dating. I think I rationalized that I was trying to spare his feelings.”
– Stacy, 30, Lexington, KY

Reason #3: Because absence doesn’t make the heart grow fonder
“My boyfriend Greg and I decided to do the long-distance thing after I was accepted to a graduate program 200 miles from where we lived. The first few months were fine, but I soon found myself becoming extremely attracted to my lab partner, Henry. What began as innocent flirting eventually wound up with us in bed. After the program was over, I returned home to Greg. Being with him was really difficult, but I didn’t break up with him initially because I was still attracted to him, too. I visited Henry a few times, and realized that he was really more of a fling, probably born out of boredom, and that Greg was the one for me. I eventually stopped communicating with Henry. I never told Greg about what happened, which occasionally makes me feel guilty, but I chalk my cheating up to being young and silly. He and I are still together, four years since my program ended.”
– Tamara, 33, Portland, OR

Reason #4: So she’s not left out in the cold
“I began dating Eric shortly after I had been dumped by Dave, my boyfriend of two years. I was devastated and Eric was definitely a rebound thing. After Eric and I had dated for five months, Dave came back and wanted to give things another shot. I still really missed him, so I began seeing him, but never ended things with Eric. I think I sort of kept Eric around for insurance purposes, just in case things didn’t end up well with Dave. Dave and I didn’t make it on round two, and after Eric discovered through mutual friends that I had been seeing him again, he ended things with me. I definitely learned my lesson about dating two guys at the same time, not to mention trying to rekindle a relationship that’s just plain over.”
– Jen, 28, Oak Park, IL

Reason #5: She deserves better
“When I was younger, I dated a guy named Ethan who was really critical of me. He constantly made little snide comments about my weight, how stupid I was and how clumsy I was. For whatever odd reason, I was into him, despite the fact that all of my friends and family hated him. One weekend when he was away, I met Will at a party and we completely hit it off. He was the complete opposite of Ethan—kind, sweet and generous, yet completely cool and fun, too. We hung out all weekend and it was like a light bulb went off in my head: This is how mature, relationship-worthy guys act. I hooked up with Will the night before he left, and broke up with Ethan soon after. Will and I dated for three years and now we’re married.”
– Allison, 30, New York, NY

1-800-FLOWERS.COM

Reason #6: She’s looking for a missing piece
“I’m from Florida, so I adore going to the beach and boating, but my former boyfriend, Chris, a total city boy, hated it. We always argued about where we’d take trips, and he always won. About eight months into our dating, I took a trip to Key West with my friends and we chartered a boat for the day. The captain of the boat was this totally hot, complete ‘beach guy for life’ type, and I spent the whole day flirting with him. We met him out that night, and he and I got together. I never told Chris about it after I got home and I never felt guilty; I think part of me felt like that’s what Chris got for being so stubborn! Chris and I didn’t make it, and after we broke up, I made sure any future boyfriends loved the beach!”
– Lizzie, 32, Chicago, IL

Reason #7: To give him a taste of his own medicine
“My last boyfriend was a total player before we got together. I thought I could change him, but I was wrong. I always heard rumors that he was hooking up with other girls while we were dating, but he always denied it. One night, I got a call from a girl he had been seeing, and she detailed their three-month-long relationship to me and told me about another girl she had discovered he was seeing as well. I was so mad that I went out with my friends that night, dressed to kill, and went home with the hottest guy I could find; I felt like it was the least he deserved! I loved seeing the look on his face when I told him about what I did and that I knew about the other girls. And then I dumped him!”
– Ashante, 25, College Park, GA

Reason #8: There’s something lacking in the physical department
“My ex was a terrible kisser—the worst! I really liked everything else about him, but whenever it came time to get physical, I just cringed. One night when I was at a party without him, a bunch of people started this old-school, yet fairly intense game of spin the bottle, and I felt like I had to join, as I hadn’t had a decent kiss in a long time! I probably kissed about 10 guys that night, all of whom were so much better than my ex. I ended things pretty quickly after that experience, which made me realize that the physical part of a relationship is truly important.”
– Marnie, 26, San Francisco, CA

What’s your story? If you have ever cheated on your mate… why the heck did you do it?

Chemistry.com

Sphere: Related Content

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

The Man Diet

By: Single Diva

I’m sure that all of you single ladies out there can relate to this next statement…..It’s pure insanity out there in the dating world!

During a recent night out I was hit on by a 25 year old (yes, that part is a bit flattering) who lives with his girlfriend (not so flattered anymore). I decided that it was time for a break. I’d had it. In the last 6 months I’ve encountered the following situations: several married men who wanted to take me out, went out with a guy who unbeknownst to me was in the process of getting a divorce from someone I knew, a variety of men several decades older than me, one guy who screamed at me after only a few hours of knowing me causing me to run to my car while wearing high heels, one blind date gone horribly wrong (my friends are still laughing about that one), and several men who are just looking for one particular thing and no, it’s not my friendship.

Chemistry.com


All of this caused me to declare a temporary man diet. Just take a break from it all for a bit. Focus on my friends, family, work etc. Sounds good in theory, right? Then there was that one phone call from my mother. She caught me when I was bored and distracted and I agreed to another blind date.

This is not all nearly as bad as it sounds. I’ve always been up for things like this in the past. However, when I told my cousin about the situation and that it was the son of one of my mother’s friends I was agreeing to go out with she wanted to know if I was legally insane. I figured why not though. I’d done something like this before and it worked out.Well, at least until his ex-girlfriend showed up and wanted to reconcile but whatever.

So, I agreed and my phone number was handed over. Then began the week of wondering. Will he even call? Will we have a good phone conversation? Will we have similar interests? Will there be a spark? Will Carly marry Jax? Oh wait, that’s General Hospital, sorry.

Frederick's of Hollywood, Inc. Frederick's of Hollywood, Inc.

As the week progressed, I kind of forgot about the possibility that I would be getting a call from Blind Date Man (as he was nicknamed). I do tend to have a short attention span. Friends would ask me about it and remind me that I had to obsess over what to wear to the unknown date with the unknown person. I kind of figured that whatever I wore was new to him so I’d worry about it after he made the initial call.

Then the call came….and I missed it. Figures. So, the next day before I got the chance to return the call, I received a very nice text message. I answered and called him back as well. Had a great phone conversation. He was very chatty so I really didn’t need to say much. Kind of a nice change. We made plans for dinner a couple of nights later and chose 32 East as our location.

Then the panic set in. What in the world did I agree to? Oh well, it would only be a few hours out of my life and if it didn’t go well, 32 East is one of my favorite restaurants so nothing lost.

Then the night of the date came. I waited and wondered what the evening would hold for me. I did end up obsessing about what to wear and have to say that I did look illegally cute that night. We went to dinner, talked a lot, had great food and a generally good time.

Chemistry.com

There was a small issue with climbing in and out of his truck as it is jacked up so high the door handle was over my head. There just was no lady like way to get in and out of that truck. While no connection was really felt between either of us we both had fun. The evening was very nice and definitely not a loss. Now the moms know and there won’t be anymore “what if” conversations between them.

This whole experience reinforced the idea that you have to be willing to take chances because you just never know what one situation, person, place might lead you to.

This blind date may not have turned into a great love affair but the next one might. Everyone has a story to tell and if you listen closely (or at all) you might learn something. I did learn that apparently I’m not very good at the man diet. Oh well, I never was at depriving myself. Life is just too short for that.

So, the next time your family or friends offer you the chance at the blind date or the chance meeting, take it. Think of it as the ice cream of the dating world. You know that you probably shouldn’t take it and that there’s a chance it might stick but you are still craving it. Besides, you never know how much fun breaking your diet can be until you try it.

Mondera.com, Inc.

Sphere: Related Content

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Sicilian Tuna Steak

Bring something new to the table! White wine and dried basil bring a distinctly Sicilian taste to these luscious yet low-fat tuna steaks.

START TO FINISH: 45 minutes MAKES: 4 servings
1 pound fresh or frozen tuna steaks, 1 inch thick
1 small onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced (1 teaspoon minced)
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
2 pounds roma tomatoes, seeded and chopped
1/2 cup dry white wine
1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper
1/4 cup pitted ripe olives
2 tablespoons capers, rinsed and drained
2 tablespoons chopped fresh basil or 2 teaspoons dried basil, crushed
1 tablespoon chopped fresh mint or 1 teaspoon dried mint, crushed
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon lemon juice

3 Hour Diet at Home

1. Thaw tuna, if frozen. Cut tuna into 4 portions, if necessary. Rinse tuna; pat dry with paper towels. Set aside.
2. In a large skillet, cook onion and garlic in hot oil over medium heat until onion is tender. Add tomatoes, wine, and crushed red pepper. Bring to boil; reduce heat. Simmer, uncovered, for 7 minutes. Add olives, capers, and dried basil and mint, if using; cook for 3 minutes more.
3. Sprinkle tuna with kosher salt and black pepper. Add tuna to skillet on top of tomato mixture. Cover and cook over medium heat for 5 minutes. Uncover and cook for 10 to 15 minutes more or until tuna flakes easily when tested with a fork and is slightly pink in the center.
4. Transfer tuna pieces to 4 serving plates. Spoon tomato mixture over tuna. Sprinkle with fresh basil and mint, if using. Drizzle with lemon juice.

Good Times Entertainment

Sphere: Related Content

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

International Wine Accessories

Reason’s it’s good to be single during the holidays

 

Here we are entering the holiday season again.

Didn’t we just finish with this? It starts with Thanksgiving and just snowballs one holiday after another until we are clear into Valentine’s Day. For me, I get to add my birthday as the first holiday to kick it off since it’s right before Thanksgiving.

For all of us single ladies though, it’s really December that reminds us that we are just that….single. We get the endless string of pity invites to parties, the random introductions to the other single friend that the host just happens to have invited, and the lectures about how one day our prince charming will come riding in on his white horse and rescue us from our singledom.

What all of our married friends apparently didn’t hear is that Prince Charming had a thing going with Snow White and now Cinderella not only now owns the kingdom but 50% of Charming’s income for the next couple of decades. The dwarfs are not happy about this at all. I’m here to set the records straight and point out the reason’s that it’s actually a good thing to be single during the holidays as opposed to being part of a couple.

Black Hound New York Default 300x250

I’ll start with the obvious reasons first.

There is the financial issue. Face it, if you were in a relationship, you would most likely be spending more on his gift than you would on just about anyone else’s. It’s just what we do. When you are in a relationship, your boyfriend is an incredibly important part of your life and you want to do something special for him…that ends up costing.

No matter how many pre-shopping vows we make to “not go overboard”, we still do. We are women, it happens. So, without that boyfriend in your life, you are free to spend that money on say that Louis Vuitton that you’ve been eyeing. The smokin hot outfit at the mall could be all yours. No need to feel guilty either because after all, you are single, you are out there and you want to look your best. Enjoy it. A day at the spa might even be in order.

Consider it your boyfriend gift to yourself.

Frederick's of Hollywood, Inc.Frederick's of Hollywood, Inc.Frederick's of Hollywood, Inc.

Mondera.com, Inc.Mondera.com, Inc.Mondera.com, Inc.

That takes me to my next reason…Fashion.

If you are in a relationship you are most likely invited to things such as company parties, the family boat party where you know nobody is going to be at but you have to go to, the boring friend’s party, etc. It’s the same group of family and friends no matter where you go.

This requires a new outfit for each event. You are not going to risk getting the disapproving up down look from any other female guests. Well guess what? You are single! You are going to a whole different set of parties.

This means a totally new set of people at every party which means you could just get a couple of incredibly smokin hot outfits and rotate them. This saves you money which actually could take you back to the Louis Vuitton that we previously discussed if you really think about it. Plus, each party has a new circle of people, and you are single. You can mix and mingle until you just can’t take it anymore because you are not tied to one person’s side.

This can be fun.

There is comfort knowing someone has your back at a party but there is also freedom in not being part of a couple. Walk in with your head held high and scope out the scene. See that hottie over there by the steak tar tar? Go talk to him! You have the freedom to do this so take advantage of it.

Plus, you also have the freedom to surprise the hottie with a kiss under the mistletoe if you like. Just make sure he’s also there alone before you do this. If the party doesn’t work out, pull out outfit number 2 tomorrow night and see what’s roaming around at that party. You’ve got nothing to loose and won’t be hurting anyone’s feelings in your mingling efforts.

Apple iTunes

Another advantage to being single during the holidays has to do with the getting ready location. Let me explain: So many times, when you are in a relationship and you have an event to go to let’s say after work, you end up both getting ready at whomever’s house is closer.

This can mean closer to your job, closer to the event location, whatever. Ladies, how many times have you stuffed everything you can possibly think that you are going to need in a duffle bag the night before and prayed that nothing melted in the car while you were at work, got wrinkled or worse…that you forgot something.

You sit there all day running a list through your mind….shampoo and conditioner? Check. Hairspray? Check. Make-up? Check. Dress? Check. Heels? Check. Cute little purse to match? Maybe check? Oh, I hope it’s a check. What will I do if it’s not a check? Sound familiar?

When you are single, you actually get to get ready for a party in your own home! I know! Imagine that. No packing, no freaking out about possible forgotten items, and if you change your mind on what you want to wear it’s ok because it’s your house. Your clothes are all there. Take a minute to imagine what it’s like to not live out of a bag every time you go somewhere.

1-800-FLOWERS.COM

Ok, back with me?

Good. One more thing that being single affords you is the luxury to choose where you want to go on the actual holidays. Well, you still have to deal with where your family wants you to go but you don’t have to rush between your family and friends and his.

It’s all you. You want to spend the entire day at your parents’ house? You can. Maybe you had some friends invite you to stop by. Go for it. Who is going to argue? Ok, so your mother might but that’s going to happen whether you are in a relationship or not.

Point is, you have the freedom to decide for yourself where and when you want to go somewhere. One single friend told me that this is the best part about being single all year long. He’s a bit cynical since his last relationship ended in flames so I try not to take his words to heart. I’m afraid it might rub off. He is right though that during the holidays the freedom to choose is a good feeling.

Frederick's of Hollywood, Inc.Frederick's of Hollywood, Inc.Frederick's of Hollywood, Inc.

So fellow single ladies, as you navigate yourself through the holiday season, hold your head high, put on your favorite little black dress (or 2 or 3), and raise your martini glass to each other as you pass at the parties. We are the lucky ones. We can do what we want, go where we want and buy ourselves those fabulous gifts that you just wouldn’t have the funds for if you were in a relationship.

Tell yourself Happy Holidays and toast to each other. We are single, we are fabulous, and we are out of here because there just isn’t anyone that has caught our eye at this party.

I think I still have that other invite in the car. You know the one….the one you said “maybe” to. See, we get to keep our options open. Happy Single Holidays!!

Sephora.com, Inc.

Sphere: Related Content

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Hola LP Family and Friends,

As the holiday season rolls in, so does many of our favorite childhood dishes, cocktails and empty calories. Keep in Shape and Stay Fabulous with LP Health and Fitness Tips :-D

Check out this awesome recipe below:

Sonoma Recipe: Salad Niçoise With Tuna: LP Health and Fitness

Imagine you’re lunching in Nice as you enjoy this delicious tuna salad! Anchovies are optional!
START TO FINISH: 35 minutes MAKES: 4 servings

4 ounces fresh green beans
5 cups packaged European-style torn mixed salad greens
1 6-ounce can chunk white tuna (packed in water), drained and broken into chunks
4 medium tomatoes, quartered
2 hard-cooked eggs, peeled and quartered
1/2 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
3 green onions, cut into 1/2-inch slices
4 anchovy fillets, drained, rinsed, and patted dry (optional)
3/4 cup pitted ripe olives
1 recipe Niçoise Dressing

Good Times Entertainment

1. Wash green beans; remove ends and strings. Leave beans whole or snap in half. In a covered medium saucepan, cook green beans in a small amount of boiling, lightly salted water about 5 minutes or just until tender. Drain and place in ice water until chilled; drain well. If desired, cover and chill for 2 to 24 hours.

2. Place salad greens on a large platter or 4 serving plates. Arrange green beans, tuna, tomatoes, and eggs on the greens. Sprinkle with parsley and green onions. If desired, top with anchovy fillets.
Top with olives. Drizzle Niçoise Dressing over all.

Niçoise Dressing: In a small bowl combine 3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, 1 tablespoon white wine vinegar, 1/2 teaspoon Dijon-style mustard, 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt, and 1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper. Whisk together until combined.

Nutrition Facts per serving: 260 cal., 17 g total fat (3 g sat. fat), 124 mg chol., 570 mg sodium, 12 g carbo., 5 g fiber, 16 g pro.

Good Times Entertainment

Sphere: Related Content

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!